Are affirmative assholes reverse racist?

Promises were made, promises that said only “the best people” would make up his administration. Yet for once a broken Trump promise might actually...

BREAKING: EXECUTIVE ORDER

The Office of the UFV President By the authority vested in me by the UFV Board of Governors and the bylaws of the University Act...

Snapshot: Being Jaded

Do you people know how hard it is to be informed and still be cheerful? It’s goddamn hard. I’ve got a part-time job selling...

Kellie Leitch has gone Viral

In a stunning example of the advances in artificial intelligence, a recent computer-generated Conservative hopeful has gone viral as thousands of Canadians have seen...

Health centre to open shortly

Following multiple attempts to reach out for medical care, students confirmed that the health centre has yet to be established by the Student Union.

Disappointed that my speech was not delivered at convocation

"I am miffed. I am miffed because nobody read my speech at convocation this year. That’s right, I wrote a speech. But neither Mark Evered, the guest speakers, the student speakers, the goshdarned alumni, nor those honorary degree-getters followed up on their promises."

Cup Noodles and the true, devastating price of convenience

"Cup Noodles are a beautiful thing. We can add some hot water to this thing in a styrofoam cup and have half a meal ready in five minutes. That kind of food technology was once thought to be reserved solely for astronauts orbiting the earth, with very little space or access to water. Now we can walk into a 7-Eleven and pick up 12 of those bad boys for like, $10."

Games on the green counterproductive

"Here’s my take on how to actually have fun: include people. Don’t scare them away with particular rules. Don’t shove games that only make sense to their inventors in people’s faces. Don’t make it clear that you’re not having fun because you don’t understand the game, either. Play a less pretentious game! Welcome people without challenging them from the get-go! Get to know your fellow humans!"

Carly Rae Jepsen and the Trump phenomenon

With stunning foresight, Carly Rae predicted a number of political events of the past six months, but like many true artists she is more interested in understanding the mechanisms behind such movements.

Keep your sweaters tacky, not sexy, this season

The holiday season is well and truly upon us, bringing with it a storm of sweaters — sweaters which bear upon them the most hideous of designs, from the almost sociopathic smile of a crocheted Santa Claus to the dead, red nose of Rudolph, and other miscellaneous mutilated masterpieces in the form of knitwear.

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